tag:toseofficial.com,2005:/blogs/tose-blogGirl Unltd2023-03-07T00:07:29+00:00Tee Arifalsetag:toseofficial.com,2005:Post/71663492023-03-07T00:07:29+00:002023-10-16T15:48:41+01:00The Chance Meetings (A short story)<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/176690/ff1cc4dfc3f3222cf778cbbce2ae7751d827b412/original/yellow-animated-valentines-day-sale-video.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" /><meta charset="utf-8"></p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Asi winced slightly as she gently kneaded her foot. She took in her surroundings. She was still reeling from the breath taking views from their hike up Table Mountain today.</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;"><i>Not bad as far as hostels go, </i>she thought</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">In fact, there was very little about Cape Town, South Africa that was bad and she was a little sad that her 5-day trip was coming to an end tomorrow. She must remember to note in her journal tonight that she would be returning. Perhaps on her way back to Lagos- but that was not for another 3 months</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“Where did you say you are now again?” Her mother had asked on the phone the night before</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“South Africa, Mummy”</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“Ehen, that’s not too far now. Why not come home for 2 days or so and then you can go back to your waka waka? That was her mom’s way of saying she missed her. Her ever-supportive mother still struggled to come to terms with her decision to solo-travel for 6 months. So did Tombara, her sister and Nancy, her best friend.</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Asi sighed. “I’ll be home soon, Mummy. Can you believe it’s been 3 months already?” She was trying to lighten the mood. </span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“So you won’t come, ehn?”</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Asi rubbed her neck</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“I have a travel plan to stick to, Mommy” She’d lost count of how many times her mother had made this request. Her answer never changed</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">She changed to the other foot and started kneading again</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Tomorrow she was off to Seychelles and then Mauritius </span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">She stretched and yawned careful not to bump her hands on the room’s ceiling. She much preferred the bottom bunk as bunk ladders made her a little nervous but by the time she booked into the hostel this evening they were all taken and she didn’t have the energy to go looking for another hostel</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Speaking of bunk ladders, she needed to pee</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">She stared at the ladder warily and for a moment considered holding in the urine until day break when she would need to have a shower </span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;"><i>Don’t be silly Asi. You are a 29-year-old professional banker. You can navigate a measly bunk ladder</i></span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">The time on her phone said 1.36 am. She turned up her phone flashlight and tiptoed carefully out of the room hoping she didn’t wake any of her 5 room mates</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Her phone vibrated just as she quietly closed the door behind her</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Nancy.</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“Hey, you up?”</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“Barely” She typed in response as she made her way to the set of toilet stalls at the end of the corridor</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“I think Tam has gone mad”</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Asi rolled her eyes not sure whether she was in the mood to hear about another one of Nancy’s couple’s quarrels with her boyfriend of 5 years, Tam- a constant reminder that she had never been able to hold down a serious relationship for more than 6 months</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">She started typing “What happened now” head down. She turned right to where the stalls were and suddenly recoiled as her forehead collided with something warm, hard and hairy. A chest. A man’s chest. </span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“Ouch! Excuse me…I’m so sorry…I wasn’t looking…” the words were tumbling out at lightning speed. </span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;"><i>Jeez, Asi! When will start paying more attention to where you’re going?</i></span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“No, it’s my fault. I wasn’t expecting to see anyone at this hour” The voice of the owner of the chest. Warm, accented, confident with a faint sign of laughter</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“Are you OK”</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Asi was rubbing her forehead</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“All good, no worries” came her reply and for the first time looked up to see who owner of the iron chest</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">He had taken about 4 steps back to assess her, affording her the same privilege. He was at least 6 feet 2 inches tall which would explain the forehead to chest contact.</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">He had shoulder-length blonde hair, which wet, at the moment, stuck to his scalp and skin like a damp cloth</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">His features weren’t what you would regard as handsome but he was certainly attractive. His grey eyes were bright and full of expression and from the look of his body, he certainly worked out.</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">And that body only had a grey towel around its waist at the moment- held in place by one hand</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Asi quickly caught herself and averted her eyes back to the floor</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to stare” She sounded like a mouse even to her own ears</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“You probably shouldn’t be walking around with only a towel. This is a public place”</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">She was still looking down</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;"><i>Why in the world did the shower and loo stalls have to be unisex here??</i></span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“Ah yes” at least he had the decency to sound a little embarrassed,.</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“I’ll be sure to remember that for next time”</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">To that, she looked up. He was staring straight at her</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">It made her uncomfortable. He made her uncomfortable</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">She was all of a sudden aware of her un-made face, the minny mouse PJ set she was wearing and her messy weave</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">She looked away again moving her weight from one foot to the other</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">He seemed to know he made her uncomfortable and from the slight smile on his face, was enjoying it</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“Well, sorry I bumped into you” Asi finally said</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“Um…good night” she was trying to figure out how to get her legs to work so she could move past him to one of the toilet stalls.</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Thankfully, he got the hint and strode towards her instead</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">She quickly stepped aside so she wasn’t in his way</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“Yes, good night” he was still smiling as went past her back into the corridor leading to the rooms</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Safely within the privacy of a loo stall, Asi released the breath she didn’t even realise she had been holding</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Why was her heart pounding like she just ran a 100m sprint?</span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;"><i>Two weeks later…</i></span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">4 days in Frankfurt was a dream</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Asi never thought she’d been able to say that. She’d had this preconceived notion that Germans were a bit stiff-lipped and probably not too welcoming to strangers from other countries who didn’t speak the language. How wrong she was. </span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">As she made her way through customs, Reykjavik- bound, she thought of her new german friend Emmaline and smiled. Yes, Frankfurt was a dream</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">On the plane, she patiently waited to locate her seat as passengers in front of her would put away their luggage in the overhead compartments and take their seats, one by one</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">She looked at the seat number that was beside her: <i>28</i>. Her seat number was 42. Not long now</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">A passenger 2 people ahead caught her attention: blond hair, tied into a ponytail now revealing sideburns she didn’t notice the first time. Plain white t-shirt that showed a little stomach as he lifted his luggage and dumped it into the overhead compartment with little effort. Like someone who had done it a million times before</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">He chose to turn at that moment just before taking his seat when he locked eyes with Asi’s. Time seemed to stop. So did her breath. </span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">The passengers in front of Asi were an older couple and they noticed the young man in front was not moving out of the way. They traced his gaze to Asi</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;"><i>Do grounds actually open up and swallow people? I need to be swallowed up- now!</i></span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">She looked back at the couple with what she hoped was a neutral expression, not to challenge them but because it was easier than looking at iron chest guy</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Iron chest guy spoke: “I’m so sorry” he said to the older couple She reckoned he was dutch or german. He ook his (aisle) seat, never for once taking his eyes off her . They exchanged smiles that said “I don’t know how I ran into you again but I’m glad I did”</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">When she went passed his seat, she half expecting him to grab her hand. But he didn’t</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Was that disappointment lodging itself in her heart?</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">They landed at Reykjavík airport around noon. Asi’s heart started pounding again. She was terrified of this obvious connection she felt with this stranger but couldn’t wait to see him again, even if it was from a distance</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">And see him she did, he was about 6 passengers in front of her now as they slowly disembarked. He seemed to have forgotten Asi was in the same plane because he didn’t look back to search her out even once</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">By the time she got off the plane, he was no where to be found</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Disappointment rented more space in her heart</span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;"><i>One week later… </i></span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Asi finally agreed. You haven’t tasted good pasta until you have visited Italy</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">After 2 days in Rome, she was making her way to Naples where she would spend the day and visit the Pompei ruins. The tour bus driver was insistent that they stop at this local restaurant on the way to have lunch. Asi was difficult to please with food but even she couldn’t deny the deliciousness of this pasta recipe. It was almost other-worldly </span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">They had 20 minutes before it’ll be time to continue their journey</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">There were several other tourists obviously en route to Naples too and they littered the entire stretch of restaurants. Tourists from different parts of the globe</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">She loved being a solo traveller. But sometimes it meant you stood out a little. Especially if you were of African descent</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">He had her back to her but she knew instinctively that it was him. He had visited almost every dream she’d had in the last week so there was no mistaking that blond hair. He was looking up as if to take in the sun and the glorious weather in all its splendour. He looked so at peace</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Mr iron chest must have sensed eyes on him because he looked back and immediately locked eyes with her.</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Seconds passed. He stood. He walked towards her until he was inches away- Asi wouldn’t need to stretch her hand all the way to touch him </span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">He put his hands in his pockets. </span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“Hey” </span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“Hey”</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“We seem to keep running into each other”. Asi could hear the little laughter in the warm tone of his voice. She still couldn’t place his accent for sure yet.</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Asi cocked her head to one side stealing a look up at him and then her eyes found the ground again. She feared that her treacherous wildly-beating heart would make her faint there and then</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“It would seem so” She finally said, laughing nervously</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">Slowly she watched his brown-booted feet close the small gap between them</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">And just then a tentative pointy finger touched her chin and gently lifted it till she was looking up at him</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">She tried to move. What audacity did he have to touch her? But something in his eyes held her in place. It was a mix of confusion, desperation and…was that…awe?</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">He spoke again: “I’m not sure what is happening right now”</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;"><i>Glad he’s just as confused and nervous as I am</i>. Asi thought to herself</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“I don’t even know your name” </span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“Asi”</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“Asi” he echoed. She loved how he pronounced her name</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“Henri”</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“Henri” She echoed back</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">“Asi” Henri said again as if to test it for good measure “ Just so you know: I’m not letting you out of my sight again”</span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">He was so close she could smell his cologne. This familiar stranger that had disrupted her life all in the space of 1 month and 3 chance meetings. </span></p><p> </p><p dir="ltr"><span style="color:#000000;">She grinned and said “I hoped you’d say that”</span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>Tee Aritag:toseofficial.com,2005:Post/71538152023-02-14T21:01:59+00:002023-02-14T21:11:32+00:00Another Beginning (A short story)<p><span style="color:#000000;"><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/s:bzglfiles/u/176690/208956871c71d733cb1eec83f26e8887f588a58e/original/another-beginning-blog-post.png/!!/meta:eyJzcmNCdWNrZXQiOiJiemdsZmlsZXMifQ==" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Annabel’s cries turned to screams and pierced through the door of the birthing suite. Megan could feel them vibrate in her chest. It had been like this for the last hour</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">Her mouth was dry. <i>Water. She needed water</i>. </span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">Like a zombie, she stood up and started walking, subconsciously looking for the nearest drinking water dispenser, wishing she hadn’t sworn off coffee.</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">On her return, she barely noticed that Dan hadn’t moved from the position she had left him, 5 minutes ago. He seemed to be staring into space</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">Another contraction. Another scream</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">Megan shifted in her seat squeezing her legs together as memories from ten years ago, almost to this day flashed before her</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">Different hospital. Different staff. Different time. A time filled with laughter and warmth and Saturday football games in the winter followed by bouts of cold</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">A time of chaotic mornings on the school run</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">“I can’t do it…I can’t do it…I just can't!” Annabel’s voice had taken on sing-song like quality tinged with desperation. It made Megan’s heart do a somersault</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">She looked down at her now empty plastic cup and contemplated going for another drink. Dan still hadn’t moved. </span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">“You OK?”</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">It took a moment before Dan The Statue responded. Megan was beginning to think he hadn’t heard her</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">“U-huh”</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">Megan held back the retort forming at the back of her throat. What good would it be fighting now? It wasn’t his fault that they processed stress differently</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">No, she didn’t want to fight. But she needed to do <i>something</i>. </span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">Another drink it was then. </span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">“Want a drink? Water? Coffee?”</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">Dan’s tired eyes blinked once like even that was an effort and he shook his head once</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">Megan’s legs felt like lead as she went back to the water dispenser</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">Boy, did she need sleep. When they got the call last night that Annabel had gone into labour, they jumped in the car without a second thought. By the time they walked into the Edinburgh hospital 6 hours later, Annabel had already been taken down to the birthing suite</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">“Not long now” the midwife had said to them, in an accent that reminded Megan of Jamie Fraser in Outlander. That was over an hour ago.</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">The roller-coaster of fear and excitement was exhausting. In the 6 months since meeting 16-year-old Annabel and signing the adoption papers, they had prayed and waited for this day</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">And that was really all they could do now. Wait. And drink water. </span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">She walked back to blue plastic hospital chairs in the birthing suite waiting area and Dan the Statue</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">She sighed heavily as she sat next to him.</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">“You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about Tom,” she said, not exactly expecting to get a response </span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">Hearing Tom’s name was enough to thaw Dan a bit, it seemed.</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">He sighed with this pained expression on his face like he wanted to say something that would sound like a rebuke</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">Instead, he took Megan’s hand “Me, too”</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">And there it was. Their bond. In good times and double-over-and-remain-in-fetal-position-for-months times. It was unmistakable. Undeniable.</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">She had read of marriages breaking down due to the death of a child. For Megan and Dan, they managed to find inroads into relationship depths they didn’t know existed. As they cried out to God for strength and healing, they leaned on each other fiercely</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">They leaned on each other now too as their little girl was being born</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">They had never actually considered adoption until about 18 months ago. They didn’t think they would ever get over the death of Tom or open their hearts again to such love</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">But as they took each day - some good, some bad- as they came; as they slowly healed and learned to let go, they received what they could only be described as a whisper of a suggestion- in the form of a flyer left on a park bench</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">It was summer 2017 and the long days and unbearable heat called for long relaxing evening walks. And the park was a favourite destination</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">Reading that flyer sparked something inside Megan. An indescribable longing mixed with fear of what could happen if she opened her heart again. That day, she feigned indifference. They both did. Until that night a week later when Dan turned to her in bed and simply said those two words: </span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">“Let’s adopt”</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">In the privacy of their hearts, that little spark had become a roaring flame consuming every waking thought. They talked into the early hours of the morning, sharing their excitement and anxiety for what would be a new phase in their lives—asking millions of questions: <i>Boy or girl? Teen, toddler or baby? Did it matter?</i></span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">Lorraine answered their questions in one fell swoop.</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">She was the social worker the Blaines at church had introduced to Megan and Dan. She specifically worked with teen moms-to-be. Dan wasn’t sure at first and for good reason. Dan was 51 and Megan turned 48 last Wednesday. How would they cope with a screaming, brand-new baby who refuses to sleep?</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">But Megan knew this was their path. That path led them to Annabel.</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">As if on cue, Annabel screamed again and seconds later there was the distinct sound of a crying baby. The soon-to-be parents stood up. </span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">“Dan” Megan couldn’t keep the desperation from her voice “Are we ready for this? I don’t think I’m ready” </span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">Dan took his wife’s hand and kissed it, unshed tears in his tired eyes, “We were born ready”</span></p><p><span style="color:#000000;">“Let’s go meet our little Katie”</span></p><p> </p><p> </p><p><span style="color:#000000;"> </span></p>Tee Aritag:toseofficial.com,2005:Post/65105012020-12-31T00:02:09+00:002021-04-11T15:47:26+01:00How I've remained sane during the pandemic<p> </p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/5823504b3b5b93943e9761c6edb277202489d77f/original/how-to-survive-pandemic.png/!!/b:W10=.png" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>I felt a lot of resistance in writing this piece. </p>
<p>I mean, I feel resistance every single time I sit to write. But today’s was particularly bad. </p>
<p>I sit here trying to write this at 7.14 pm but I could have..should have started hours ago. Instead, I spent hours editing my book club infographic (something that should have taken me 20 minutes as I did most of the work the day before). Then did some edits for my client (again, this could have taken me a lot less time than it did). At some point, I even started listening to samples of audiobooks on Audible (wow Tee, who are you right now?)</p>
<p>Finally, I knew how terrible I’d feel if I didn’t sit my butt down and get to writing TODAY. So here I am... </p>
<p>So, I suspect you’re wondering why the resistance? I had to think deeply and honestly about this. Here’s what I discovered: It’s the gnawing question, <em>Why would anyone care to read about how I’ve remained sane during the pandemic? </em></p>
<p>Thing is, I absolutely don’t blame you if you’ve thought this. After all, why should you care?. You have your own stuff to deal with. I get it. So why have I gone ahead to write it? Because it’s more about you than it is about me. One way or another we’ve all had our struggles during this period. So this is about helping you with what has helped me. Who knows? You might just find something helpful or perhaps you'll be saying "Yeah, I've been doing that too!"</p>
<p>A little caveat here: The last impression I want to leave in your mind is that doing all these things below meant I'm sailing through these interesting times unscorched. Hmh! I soooo wish! No, they didn’t keep away every single bad day away. But all in all, I have been more ‘up’ than ‘down’. That counts for something, right? </p>
<p>Anyhow, here goes: </p>
<h3>I did A LOT of reading </h3>
<p>Why? To learn, to grow and sometimes just to escape. I had already set a goal to read 50 books on personal development in 2020. I even started a book club at the beginning of the year to keep me accountable. At the time, no one saw the pandemic coming, obviously. Being ‘locked down’ actually helped the goal become a reality. It also helped (according to Natalie Grant) ‘keep the crazies away’ </p>
<p> </p>
<h3>I prayed A LOT more </h3>
<p>This probably won’t come as a surprise to you if you already know I’m a person of faith. But I didn’t pray more because I necessarily felt the need to but because I had more time to. The next point shows you where I found the extra time </p>
<p> </p>
<h3>I exercised A LOT more </h3>
<p>Ok, so only my nearest and dearest probably know how important fitness is to me. Having to not run around being MumUber or physically travelling into work meant I had more time on my hands to dedicate to my exercise of choice: Walking. </p>
<p>It didn't hurt too that in spite of the lock-down, we were blessed with a beautiful spring and summer in 2020. This automatically meant I could take longer walks. Longer walks meant either longer prayer times or longer reading (audiobooks) time. And for the days I couldn't go out walking (don’t care much for walking in the rain or icy roads Sometimes though, it's just work deadlines )? I discovered the joy of 20-40 minutes of indoor cardio, dance and HIIT workouts (youtube baby!) </p>
<p> </p>
<h3>I reconnected with my friends on a deeper level </h3>
<p>To understand this, you'll have to understand my personality: I can go months on end without speaking to anyone (besides the people I live with, obvs!). I’m usually so busy I don’t even notice. Yet, slowing down meant I could reconnect with my dearest friends (thanks to zoom and Whatsapp video). I don’t keep a lot of close friends but the ones I have are absolute rockstars and reconnecting felt like coming home </p>
<p> </p>
<h3>I started a side gig </h3>
<p>Now in fairness, <a contents="copywriting " data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.thebutterflycopy.com/">copywriting </a>was always in the cards for me before 2020. But being able to work from home because of the lock-down meant I could actually start and even scale a little. Certainly, more than I would have if was still commuting, to and from work every day. </p>
<p>Starting a side gig was a blessing in many ways. Not only did it keep me from twiddling my thumbs when I wasn’t doing my full-time job, but it also helped balance out the 33% loss in household income we experienced as a result of the lockdown. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And there it is! I’m hoping and praying along with you that we’ve seen the worst of it. But if we still have to endure a little longer, then I hope these help in some little way</p>Tee Aritag:toseofficial.com,2005:Post/49179892017-11-03T16:58:44+00:002020-06-29T14:14:08+01:00Love Sung Live- My experience<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/ddf46eef46fbe40aedb38a4cb1f9d7fe1d95a95d/original/dsc-3929.jpg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>
<p>"Hi Tose, some bad news, unfortunately..."</p>
<p>That was the first line in the text I received from the photographer I had booked for Love Sung Live. Hey, stuff happens so normally i wouldn't mind, really. Except this was coming on the afternoon of the 20th of October- a little over 24 hours before Love Sung Live- my self-hosted house concert at Icontowers- was to take place</p>
<p> I was right in the middle of Wilkos purchasing scented candles for the show andI I honestly didn't know what to do. I felt panic rise from the back of my throat like bile. I started having flashbacks of my Love Walk EP launch last year and my regret of not getting a professional photographer. But then I remembered something I had read from Dean Graziosi's book '' Millionaire Success Habits'' where he shared a story of JJ Virgin and her son Grant who happened to be in a terrible, potentially fatal hit and run and how JJ could have focused on feeling bitter and getting even but instead made the unusual decision to focus all her energies on making sure her son not only pulled through but thrived. She didn't even press charges!</p>
<p>Well, what I was facing right that moment could not be compared to that ordeal but I chose to do the same thing: focus on a solution. So on the phone, I got while I continued with my shopping</p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/dd5315aca1cdc9ac753d364e27d951785d0c400d/small/set-list-lsl.jpg" class="size_s justify_left border_" />This was just one of the many pressures I was under. Included in the mix was the fact that I had 13 unrehearsed songs to prepare for (I was still writing one of them). See, I had gotten busy helping out a friend with his live recording scheduled for just the weekend before and my local church's Women's Conference holding the weekend after.</p>
<p>As Ose (my husband) and I are the worship band coordinators we practically had to attend every rehearsal including the Thursday and Friday prior to the Saturday of Love Sung Live. This meant I never got a chance to rehearse fully with the 'band' (mainly consisting of Ose on keys and a guitarist friend of ours from church. We were keeping it stripped back).</p>
<p>In fact, I didn't get the chance to do much at all, especially plan and promote. Yes, I know: I couldn't have picked a worse time to hold a show. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I. Was. Broke.</p>
<p>Granted, it wasn't a huge event but even tiny events take money, honey! "But why didn't you start planning and promoting instead of leaving things to last minute?", you might be asking. Well, I didn't exactly leave everything to last minute</p>
<p>The issue was my planning was at best lacklustre. Why? Fear- gripping, sweat-drenching fear!</p>
<p>I was headlining a show, trialling out new songs and I wasn't going to be leading people in worship in the sense that we know it (and I admit that had become my comfort zone). I was just going to sit and sing and tell stories. I was scared! And I'm not proud to say that when I'm scared, I procrastinate. Still dealing with that one...</p>
<p>Nevertheless, I was determined to go ahead because of this vision to create a 'Love Oasis' - A space people could just come and bask in God's presence and love and leave strengthened and encouraged. Also, I had promised my fund-raising backers that I would treat some of them to an evening of live music which is not something I do to often. Most people by this time know most of what I do is online-based, crazy as it sounds. So Love Sung Live had to be special. Had to be awesome. Period! Normally, this type of vision is accompanied by serious funds. But remember I said I was broke? Well, limited resources meant digging deep into the well of resourcefulness. That meant, asking for help, calling for favours, DIYing stuff. Here's the breakdown of how it all went down</p>
<p><strong>WARDROBE</strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/6b45c86912038f6660bb1e3c1b194a0b97e92105/small/makeup-lsl.jpg" class="size_s justify_left border_" />Luckily, I had picked out my outfit 2 weeks prior. This was a huge improvement from my previous track point. (Case in point: picking up my Love Walk EP launch outfit the morning of the show!) I kept it simple using mostly what I already had (leather pants and ankle-length boots) and shopped for just a top with the help of a dear friend.</p>
<p>I'm terrible to shop for by the way. And unlike the general female stereotype, I don't like shopping. I just can't seem to make up my mind. If you're like me, then know that it helps to go prepared i.e with a clear idea of what you want e.g black sequin top. And If you're really, really like me, you might end up with a yellow one but hey, it'll shave off a couple of hours from your search. (yes, hours. For just one top. Diabolical, I know!).<br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/a9247ceb4b92de2cd5b169af2042df998f5421c9/small/whatsapp-image-2017-10-24-at-19-19-22.jpeg" class="size_s justify_right border_" /></p>
<p>Did I mention my makeup artist and friend flew in from Scotland? This was a true case of everything working together for my good because you see, I didn't have a makeup artist until she confirmed she was coming. I was ready to do it myself. Certainly wouldn't have turned out as great. I felt so beautiful!</p>
<p>As for hair, well, I absconded from seeing the Loctician that week because I had to divert the funds to something else. What's a girl to do? Curl it up and spray on some glitter that's what! Loved the end result too :)</p>
<p><strong>TICKETING</strong></p>
<p>Via Mama Eventbrite. The only tricky part was deciding to create a paid live streaming ticket category. Since we were going to sell through Eventbrite (considered Concert Window but that would have involved the extra step of customer signing up to watch and I didn't want that) I decided to set it up on almighty Facebook. This meant I had to add people manually to a closed group. This was no problem but I reckon as the show grows in audience, this would be difficult to keep up, unless there was someone managing the page...which can be arranged I guess. Had a couple of friends help out at the door too in case we had walk-ins- which we did</p>
<p><strong>VENUE SET UP AND DECOR.</strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/daa97c96b8baf8c8455e2e7d81897920aa36be2b/small/icontowers-lsl.jpg" class="size_s justify_left border_" />I didn't even think I needed to get someone to handle this until I realised how very inept I am with that sort of thing. It was interesting to see the sort of ideas my dear friend came up with especially for the food and drinks table. We had been to the venue several times so it wasn't new but we still needed to get there early enough to set up the place.</p>
<p>In keeping with my 'relaxed atmosphere' theme, we decided to get scented candles which I absolutely loved! Next, I wanted bean bags. Sounded good in theory so borrowed a few from another dear friend.</p>
<p>Do you how much space those things take?? I'll have to find another way of creating that atmosphere without them going forward, especially if I plan to keep using IconTowers. </p>
<p><strong>FOOD</strong></p>
<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/d30217d4fd3189396fa7fcb82c8f04902b593443/small/screenshot-20171103-162723.png" class="size_s justify_right border_" />I made a decision to include this though I knew it might make things a little tricky. Remember my lack of funds situation? So I couldn't just give it to someone to take care of- I gave it to several people! Finger foods, nothing fancy. I am blessed with some awesome friends and a great church family so made requests and got some folks to handle things one item each. Really turned out well, I must say! </p>
<p><strong>CAMERAS, LIGHTING, SOUND AND OTHER TECHY STUFF</strong></p>
<p>Totally lost when it comes to these so let's just say, we were extremely fortunate to have a venue like Icontowers! From the crew to Pastor Fred barking out orders to make sure the live stream went on without a hitch. It is a visual production studio and they sure know what they are doing.</p>
<p>The only let down was the sound as we were unable to get hold of an engineer. Ose and few friends tried to set this up but tweaking is impossible when you get on stage unless of course, the mixer is just right next to you which in this case, it wasn't.</p>
<p>It sounded amazing in the room. But I can hear the faults in the recording. Hey, it wasn't the end of the world. We still had an amazing time! As for photography, I'm glad to say after much calling around I was very fortunate to get a replacement for a great price- and he takes great pictures too, as displayed in the headline picture of this blog post :)</p>
<p><strong>THE SHOW</strong><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/bb7e206fd938473db95f99705414bb577dc3b68b/medium/dsc-4012.jpg" class="size_m justify_left border_" /></p>
<p>The entire set from start to finish was about 1 hour 30 mins. I literally just sat and sang and told stories...and cried. (God help me with this crying thing!). Almost ruined one song as I cannot cry and sing and the same time. But folks didn't seem to mind the emotion so I guess it worked! :</p>
<p>I'm glad to say I did finish writing that song (another reason why I love my morning walks so much) called 'Road To Gold' and it seemed to go down really well! Which is always a great thing! </p>
<p>My voice held it's own and I believe God was glorified. I did hear LOADS of "bum" notes listening back later but the audience didn't seem to notice and/or care. To be honest, neither did I!</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>FINAL NOTE AND THOUGHTS</strong></p>
<p>I can describe my experience hosting Love Sung Live as a woman in active labour. It may not have come through in all I've said above but I l almost cancelled several times. I even promised myself I wouldn't do a thing like this again. But then I had the 'baby' and voila! All the pressure and strain is forgotten and I want to do it again and again! And I will. Hopefully, with more resources at my disposal. Here are a few lessons I picked up along the way:</p>
<p>1. Prepare to be stretched especially when you are trying something new or treading a path less travelled. It's all part of the beautiful tapestry of your journey</p>
<p>2. A vision still in your head is still just a dream. It takes courage to act on that dream until it becomes a reality- and we all have some of that courage on that inside</p>
<p>3. Do not underestimate the power of delegation and teamwork. You and your talented self can't do it all. </p>
<p>4. Good friends and a good church family are worth more than gold!</p>
<p>5. Try and relax. God's got this and He's got you! Communication and constant 'checking-in' with Him will help, I promise</p>
<p>6. Pray together as a team if you can. No actually, prioritise and make it happen! When all's said and done, God's presence- or as scripture says, the anointing- is what makes the difference.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><strong>Love Sung Live is a show specially designed to be held as a house concert. Would you like to host your very own Love Sung Live right in your home? Send me an email at writeme@toseofficial.com or just leave me a comment below</strong></p>
<p> </p>
<p><br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/d2d8e35ed4c7eb53297b8ce52adf0b4513bb3e5e/original/table-lsl.jpeg" class="size_l justify_center border_" /></p>Tee Aritag:toseofficial.com,2005:Post/46963202017-05-04T15:30:36+01:002017-05-04T15:38:14+01:00Meet ups- In The Flesh<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/4d1367fe428a75460a15e81bce149f679663dab4/original/meet-someone.jpg?1493908193" class="size_l justify_center border_" /><br><br>This post might not resonate with everybody. But if you are an 'introvertish' homebody, read on...<br><br>I recently stumbled on an advert on TV: A young man sharing on the benefits of face to face contact vis-a-vis virtual. It was presented in spoken word form. Maybe that's why it stuck with me. Or perhaps it was because a friend I hadn't seen in a while, someone I didn't even reckon to be a close friend asked for my number, called me up and suggested we meet up for a cuppa at a local Starbucks.<br><br>My first reaction was shock and to my shame, suspicion. Especially as she had to travel farther to me than I had to her. What did she want?? Turns out to my amazement, ALL she wanted was...wait for it...<strong>C-O-N-V-E-R-S-A-T-I-O-N. </strong><br><br>So meet up we did. We talked about life, love, marriage, kids, work...anything and everything we had (and didn't have) in common. And I must say, in spite of my initial reluctance (I had actually prayed she would cancel...tsk...tsk), it was one of the best 2 hours I had spent with someone in a long time. It was simply conversation. Not a business meeting. Not to check out how useful the person in your career (don't lie your mind goes there sometimes).<br><br>I had forgotten what that was like.<br><br>What's 2 hours worth in virtual time? Probably 4 hours of texting on Whatsapp, broken up in segments, whilst chatting with 10 other people at the same time. Am I trying to knock down virtual connections- Gosh, no! I have been able to connect with folks I'll probably never see again or live in the same country with again, this side of eternity. I'm grateful for phones, social media etc. But won't it be nice to use social media and Whatsapp to arrange meet ups with folks we CAN meet sometimes?<br><br>I worry that our generation is fast losing what 'up, close and personal' looks like. What it means to connect with another person across a table. To be able to see them laugh and look into their eyes. I'm thankful for facetime, and Skype and Google Hangouts and the like. But that's really not the same- kinda like watching your favourite artist in concert live compared to watching online. Given the choice, I think I know which option I'd take.<br><br>I understand how challenging this might be sometimes. We live busy lives. We are constantly on the go and if you are a homebody like me, It takes a lot to leave your home. However, as it is a decision I have made, here's how I plan it out:<br><br>1. I pick 12 friends (one for each month of the year)- or people I just generally want to get to know better in advance .<br><br>2. I call or text them to SCHEDULE a meet up with, one at a time- once a month maybe more if you have the time but certainly not less than once a quarter.<br><br>3. Whatever, we decide unless it was a mutual decision, I pay. My treat.<br><br>You could even make it more of a group meetup than just one person. The one person thingy is just a personal preference for me. Easier for me to handle. Some friends might offer to split the cost but sometimes that won't be the case especially when it is with someone or people who doesn't really know you.<br><br>Apart from the benefits of meeting up with someone face to face, Isn't this just a great way of being a blessing to someone, even if it's just once a quarter? And no, before you go there- I am don't have loads of cash stashed somewhere neither is this process easy for me, particularly because I am naturally shy. Heck, If you are looking for me at a networking event, you'd probably find me perched in one corner of the room. Even saying the word 'networking' has the potential of causing me to break out in a sweat. Why? Cause I worry I won't know what to say. <br><br><br>But I do it anyway driven by a desire to just do something nice for someone else, and then it's just simply amazing to connect with someone in the flesh. I would hate to loose touch...literally.<br><br>Anyway, that's my talk for this week. What do you think? Do have anymore ways to make flesh to flesh contact easier in our present day with it's challenges?</p>Tee Aritag:toseofficial.com,2005:Post/46788972017-04-20T21:59:43+01:002017-04-20T22:11:41+01:00Write! <p><br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/a6752dc5bb9248de03bab92eac58af8a9f4cb22d/original/write-your-goals.png?1492721852" class="size_l justify_center border_" /><br><br><br><strong>I've been really intrigued by studies I have come across on how much writing down your goals AND reviewing them consistently affects your ability to achieve them...by 42%! </strong>How? Well, it's simple: writing down your goals and reviewing them tells your mind that you really, really want this and mean it and somehow prepares to make provision for it.<br><br>The result? An igniting a new level of productivity and ideas that simply 'thinking' won't achieve.<br><br>Isn't it amazing that the bible instructs that we: 'Write the vision and make it plain'? Yeah, this stuff was God's idea!<br><br>Writing brings clarity and allows those dreams of yours start the journey from just wishes to reality. Personally, I have noticed when i write down my goals I connect dots along the path to achievement that just weren't obvious to me while they were still in my head. If that's no encouragement to get to writing, I wonder what is.<br><br>Err...and no you don't have to be a master at writing, or an author. In fact, it is preferable to write in your 'every day voice' if you know what I mean. No word crafting necessary. Just write as clearly as you see it in your head. Not just once but constantly. Everyday if you can manage it. If like me, you are all about fulfilling purpose then this activity is not optional. <br><br>Now talk to me: Do you write down your goals and dreams? If you do, how many have you ticked off so far, if any?</p>Tee Aritag:toseofficial.com,2005:Post/39895372016-01-30T11:15:17+00:002017-01-13T01:39:54+00:00The Juggling Act- How these well-known moms say they achieve balance<br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/8f604fe76e5ebb4d65ef9401d2a86d0e23b3c704/original/untitled-design.jpg?1454153475" class="size_l justify_center border_" />Balance. This ever elusive concept. How do you achieve it? Is there any such thing as perfect balance? This is a huge one for me and I had to seriously ask myself whether it was even worth writing about as it is such a big old topic with loads of opinions which are not necessarily helpful. But the reality is, with so many important things requiring our attention, usually round about the same time, we are going to have to find a way to master this art i have called juggling . And as much as I know this applies to both men and women, I believe you would agree with me if I said women, especially moms, seem to feel the pressure to achieve this balance much more than men. I know I have experienced (and still do) my fair share of that pressure. As a result I am constantly on the look out for what others have to say on the matter, whilst I find what works for me. Here's what these well-known moms had to say on the matter:<br><br>1. <strong>Christine Caine </strong>(International speaker, wife and mom of two..amongst other duties)- "I myself have to constantly adjust my life..I think the less we try to create an A+ B =C and a formula and the more we allow it to be something that's organic and spirit-led, the more effective we will be" (excerpt taken from the "Q&A Week 3: Marriage, Motherhood and Ministry" podcast. Listen <strong><a contents="here" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://c23297.r97.cf1.rackcdn.com/CCpodcast212.mp3" target="_blank">here</a></strong>)- I really loved listening to Chris on this topic especially as she debunked some un-biblical, stereotypical view points. Most importantly, I think what she shares in this podcast will break chains of guilt off women who have desired more than just being good wives and mothers.<br><br>2. <strong>Alicia Keys</strong> (recording artiste, wife and mom of two)- "It's tough. What I've realized is that you can schedule yourself into your life. Not to say that it's easy!...I make sure to schedule time with myself and my husband, just like I make sure that there's plenty of time for us to be together as a family" ( 2012 Interview with Wonderwell. See full post <strong><a contents="here" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://www.wonderwall.com/celebrity/interviews/alicia-keys-chats-motherhood-advises-adele-22317.gallery?photoId=73546" target="_blank">here</a></strong>). And I agree. Tough sometimes feels like an understatement but recognise that it is a challenge that can be managed with the right tools.<br><br>3. <strong>Amy Grant</strong> (recording artiste wife and mom of five (yes, five!))- "When you lean into faith, you approach life with a kind of trust. Not that everything in life is going to go perfectly, but there is a purpose for everything.” (Excerpt from Belmont Vision article. See full article <strong><a contents="here" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://belmontvision.com/2015/10/singer-amy-grant-speaks-on-using-faith-to-balance-career-and-personal-life/" target="_blank">here</a></strong>). Trust. Very vital. Or you would drive yourself crazy with what you could have/should have/would have done better.<br><br>4. <strong>Jada Pinkett-Smith</strong> (Actress, business woman, mom of two (three if you add her step-son)- "You always have to remember to take care of you first because when you stop taking care of yourself, you get out of balance and you really forget how to take care of others" (Not sure of the source but you can watch full interview <strong><a contents="here" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQK9Ufr4yrY" target="_blank">here</a></strong>). Another interview I really enjoyed. There's just something about having 3 generations of women sit in a round table discussion...anyway, I digress...Jada in her usual fierce, no-nonsense manner gives an honest view on balancing life as a wife and mom.<br><br>5. <strong>Erica Campbell</strong> (recording artist, reality TV star, wife and mom of three)- "I take one day at a time. I don't try to do everything (I know that sounds..kinda crazy cos it seems like I do everything" (TV Episode of Being titled "Being Erica Campbell). Ha! Ya think?? Watching this woman juggle so much, makes <em>me </em>feel tired! You guys probably already know I have massive love Erica. As an artist, yes. But she resonates even more with me as a person and fellow woman, probably because I can draw quite a few similarities in our lives. For instance, she mothers 3 little persons like me and the roles of our husbands (as it relates to our artistry) is almost identical. This show was quite a good insight to the life she leads. You may be able to catch re-runs on the BET website.<br><br><strong>Tosé's Two Cents: What I've learned so far...</strong>
<ul> <li>Put God first: Spend time with him. Seek <strong>first </strong>His kingdom and righteousness...(fill in the blank space) and everything else tends to fall into place.</li> <li>Don't try to be like everyone else. Find out what works for you and your family and do that</li> <li>It helps to be super organised. Check my post on this <strong><a contents="here" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://toseofficial.com/blog/blog/musician-mommy-tips-to-help-you-get-and-be-super-organised" target="_blank">here</a>.</strong>
</li> <li>You give a lot and are constantly pouring out. Make time to replenish yourself!</li> <li>Ask for help! Delegate where you can.</li> <li>Don't try to do everything. Recognise times and seasons. There's a time for everything</li> <li>It's tough! Recognise that and seek support where you need it. Remember loads of people are in generally in the same boat as you</li> <li>You WILL drop the ball- take a wrong turn, make a wrong choice- sometimes. Don't beat yourself up about it. Learn and move forward, trusting God's grace is sufficient to fill in the cracks and knowing His strength is made perfect in your weakness.</li>
</ul>So, I'd really like to hear from you. Tell me: what works for you? Be sure to leave a comment on your best 'balance' tips below (PS: you'll have to login or register to comment. Should take you about 30 secs. Thanks!)<br><br>Thanks a million to taking time out of your busy schedule to read this. Be sure to share if you found it useful.<br><br>Much love and blessings,<br><br>ToséTee Aritag:toseofficial.com,2005:Post/39660292015-12-20T02:23:17+00:002017-01-13T01:39:54+00:00 My Top Ten Christian/Worship/Gospel Songs of 2015<div style="text-align: center;"> </div><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/58df36728c219918fab6f13d9e434a963a26a034/medium/stories.jpg?1450575803" class="size_m justify_center border_none" alt="" />It's December and almost Christmas! Finally done with my shopping and I am pretty proud of myself for finishing FIVE whole days before Christmas (yeah, I'm your typical last minute dot com shopper). We have a tradition in my home of buying new music every December. Albums. Not singles(Note: I said BUY. Apparently, as an artist myself, I believe in doing unto others what I expect in return) and my little boy, almost 9 years old now, has constantly nagged me all week about how we 'reeeaaally reeeaally'reminding need new music. Why the tradition? Well, for one, it's our way of making sure we buy new, current music every year, just in case we haven't all year round (not that it ever happens that we absolutely don't buy ANY music all year). But I guess more important is the fact that we play the living daylights out of each CD all year round that by December we desperately need to hear something new. Sadly, We are not a constant radio listening family. However, we noticed they seem to recycle the same set of songs all the time anyway so nothing lost there. Generally though, I do enjoy buying CDs and I much prefer the physical copy to the MP3 one. Just my personal preference.<br><br>So yes we get desperate to change but there are some of those songs that you simply don't grow tired of hearing. It is to those songs this post is dedicated. Don't forget, this is just my opinion. I would really like to hear yours (opinions, I mean). Mind you, this list will feature songs released 2014 into 2015 and it is not in any particular order...just so you know.<br><br><span class="font_large"><strong>1. Broken Together (From the Album Thrive by Casting Crowns)</strong></span><br><br>Casting Crowns are probably one of my best Christian bands of all time. They are just one of those bands, I'm almost certain I'd like anything they release. I'm constantly on the look-out. Yep, I guess I'm a super fan! I love how they preach in song and in my opinion Mark Hall's song writing is simply off the chain! I absolutely love the simplicity and down right honesty of this song. Maybe a little sad, but it calls for deep musings on relationship matters, primarily marriage but for all other relationships too. Everyone can relate- And I think everyone did as the song seemed to enjoy massive air play all through this year.<br><br><strong><span class="font_large">2. Pressure (From the Album Life Music Vol. 2 by Jonathan McReynolds)</span></strong><br><br> This is one of two songs of Jonathan McReynolds on this list and I would have gladly added 3rd and 4th, if I had the space. This bro is on fire, man! Gospel music aside, you have to respect the this young man's artistry. Sheer genius in my opinion. I thought Life Music Volume 1 was amazing. With volume 2, he simply knocked it out of the park! I read a Facebook post where he said the growing popularity of his music has been mostly down to word of mouth..No kidding! I am definitely one of those mouths. Again, the beauty of this song is how well it cuts across. People -especially we church folk -can relate. There's always something special about a song that refuses to hide behind "christianese" and speaks truth, plain and simple. And when you have a combination of beautiful singing, attractive melody and ridiculously good lyrics what do you get? Pressure (the song. Not the emotion :))<br><br><span class="font_large"><strong>3. Alive- (From the This is living Album by Hillsong Young and Free)</strong></span><br><br>If you are like me and love to jump around on and off stage then this one's for you. It's a really jumpy, feel-goody song with a very catchy pop-groove to it. Truly makes you feel..well..Alive!<br><br><span class="font_large"><strong>4. Can't live without You (From the album Withholding Nothing by William McDowell)</strong></span><br><br>I truly can't get enough of this song. The high point for me is Nicole's Binions vocals..pure, simple...almost lends itself to the character of innocence. Hardly contains any of the vocal thrills and frills you come to associate gospel music with(which is great by the way).A breath of fresh air in my opinion. <br> <p><span class="font_large"><strong>5. You are the Pillar (Single by Florocka featuring Lawrence Haynes) </strong></span></p>
<p>Actually heard this song within hours of writing this post. It isn't often that a song hits me right between the eyes the first time I hear it. But this one did. So much so that it HAD to make it into my top 10. An amazing remake of the popular Nigerian worship song. This guy doesn't seem to have any musical limitations! A pity I don't understand the Yoruba language so obviously some parts where lost on me but the other bits more than made up for it. Even Ose (hubby) raised his eyebrows a few times whilst we listened (again). And those who know my music director hubby, know he is a tough one to please. Love it!</p><br><br><span class="font_large"><strong>6. Limp</strong></span> <strong><span class="font_large">(From the album Life Music Vol. 2 by Jonathan Mcreynolds)</span></strong><br><br>This is the second of the two songs from Jonathan McReynolds on my list. To be honest, I struggled to choose between the songs Limp, Maintain, Christ Representers, just to name a few. Amazing body of work this guy has. With Limp, he yet again takes the listener on a walk down honesty and vulnerability lane. I know the two songs Pressure and Limp have parts in common with the repetition of the word 'limp' and 'Pressure' but you tend to get that when it's the same songwriter. I can relate and I'm sure fellow songwriters reading this can too. Having said that though, it is still amazing lyrical work.<br><br><strong><span class="font_large">7. Shake (From the album Welcome to the New by Mercy Me)</span></strong><br> <br>Another amazing song by veterans Mercy Me. Love love love this song! It doesn't matter where I hear it , I can't stop myself from getting my soul-train-head-bobbing groove on. But my absolutely favourite bit of this song is within it's fun and playful melody the truth of the believer's victory in Christ is evident! All the more reason to head-bob, if you ask me.<br><br><span class="font_large"><strong>8. I luh God ( From the album Help 2.0 by Erica Campbell)</strong></span><br><br>OK, shoot me, but this song HAD to be on my list...I can't help myself: I 'luh' this song!!! I know there are some who disapprove of not just the use of the ghetto version of the word 'love' but the fact that it is a woman in her 40s acting like an 18 year old 'in da hood'. To be honest, I think that was the whole point- to shock listeners. Well, consider us duly shocked, Erica! This song was soooo left field. No one saw it- or her, for that matter-coming. But that's what's so great about this song. In a world where music is now a dime a dozen and you have artists literally growing out of your ears in your genre alone, you have to do something to stand out or you will fall by the way side, no question! I think she's done an amazing job re-inventing herself. Love it. Love her!<br><br><span class="font_large"><strong>9. Ever Be (From the album We will not be shaken by Bethel Music</strong></span>)<br><br>One of my new finds, actually. Heard it for the first time on Natalie's grant Be One Album released last month and simply fell in love with it. In all honesty, I think I prefer Natalie's version but no matter, it is still an amazing song. A great addition to one's daily quiet time, me thinks.<br><br><br><span class="font_large"><strong>10. Bigger (From the Album Songs From My heart by Evans Ogboi)</strong></span><br><br>Another clever remake of a popular Nigerian Worship song by the multi-talented Evans Ogboi. This one brings tears to my eyes. Again, I think a lot has to do with how 'relatable' a song is. Yes, it's a known song but it's the delivery of it that catches your attention and literally blows you away. You know a song has hit home when you can't get it out of your head. Yep, Bigger does that to you. And guys, anyone catch the song's video directed by Fred Williams?? Awesome stuff! Do check it out if you haven't already.<br><br><br>I can't tell you how tough it was narrowing down this list to just ten 10 songs! There have been a few I have been tempted to include. But which of the 10 above do I take out? Ha! A girl's gotta make a decision. So there. Hope you enjoyed it. Lemme know your 2015 favs in the comments below.<br><br>Lotta luv,<br><br>Tosé<br><br><em>2015 has been a amazing year for me and my family. God has been good and gracious to us. I am so thankful to Him. And I am thankful to and for you too- Yes, you! For your love and support without which I couldn't do this. I am fully persuaded that 2016 would be an even better year for us all, by His grace. Amen!</em><br> Tee Aritag:toseofficial.com,2005:Post/39562512015-12-11T16:25:00+00:002020-06-28T17:22:12+01:00Musician Mommy- 6 Tips to help you get and be super organised<p><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/aca812a6e36ccae00fbefc7f30ad6cd4d8a435b3/large/enter-his-gates-with-thanksgiving-go-into-his-courts-with-praise-give-thanks-to-him-and-praise-his-name-1.jpg?1449850695" class="size_l justify_center border_none" alt="" /><br>OK, in truth you don't have to be a musician or a mommy for this to apply to you. iI you need a little help organising your life, read on...</p>
<p> I know I'm still very much a work in progress in this area and I find a lot of 'creatives' are the same. The "musician mommy" caption is just my reality at present so I speak from that place. It takes a lot of self-discipline to get and keep organised and there's nothing like having to juggle a home, young kids and a career to force you to do it- or you simply won't get anything done. <br><br>I remember listening to an interview by the very talented Patti Scialfa (wife to Bruce Springsteen and every inch a very talented musician in her own right) where she talked about being on stage, playing the guitar and forgetting to tell the baby sitter that her child had piano lessons.</p>
<p>Or times (and this I can soooo relate to) where she more or less sneaks out of the room to write and as soon as the kids (who were previously doing something else) heard the first guitar chord they come looking for her like cops looking for a fugitive!</p>
<p>Reality is, it's not the same as when you were a teenager eating off your parents' food and money and only having exams to worry about. That's not to say exams are not a truckload of stress. I know I felt like the life was being squeezed out of me after every exam I had to sit for. But I must admit that my present day-to-day life now makes exam stress look like a leisure walk in the park. Take it from me, the sooner you learn how to organise your life the easier it'll be. Not just for you but for your nearest and dearest.</p>
<p>So here are my top tips...<br><br><span class="font_large"><strong>1. The almighty to-do list</strong></span><br>To me, this is simply a no-brainer but I am not one to assume anything so if you are yet to make acquaintance with this simple but effective life-saver I don't know where you have been! Be it paper or digital (mobile phones IPads etc), you can't go wrong with this. The trick is to find what works for you. I like to make 'funnel-like' to-do lists. I'm almost certain it is called something else out there but by 'funnel' I mean start broad and gradually narrow it down- so year to month to week to daily to-do lists. I find my greatest challenge to be the daily ones cos as a mum to young children, no two days are ever the same, no matter how much routine I introduce (and we have PLENTY)! Don't be afraid to move things around and carry over to the next day, if you must<br><br><br><span class="font_large"><strong>2. Be realistic</strong></span><br>Don't overload the list...or yourself- They say Rome wasn't built in a day. Well, same goes for whatever venture you are in even at the very challenging start-up stage. It's better to get a little done than none at all because that's what's likely to happen when you get too overwhelmed!<br><br><br><span class="font_large"><strong>3. Have specific 'must-dos' for the day and tackle them head-on</strong></span><br>These are the ones, you simply cannot carry over, the ones with deadlines attached to them (a good deadline practice is to set a personal deadline date 2-3 days before the actual deadline to give you time to deal with any last-minute incidences that so often occur). Get these out of the way first!<br><br><span class="font_large"><strong>4. Prioritise!</strong></span> <br>I know how tough this one can be when you have a million things fighting for your attention- all equally important..or so it seems. But in truth, how much priority a thing has could just be time-sensitive. For instance, giving my kids my full attention is my priority from about 3 pm when I go get them from school till their bedtime. During this time, I sort out homework, dinner and get involved in those long-winded conversations young kids like to have. Once they are in bed, my priority shifts to something else like this post I'm writing today. Other times, it could be a song I have been itching to play on the guitar. For the sake of this tip, the next one is very crucial.<br><br><span class="font_large"><strong>5. Get a Calendar!</strong></span><br>Allocate a time duration for all your tasks. Quite, frankly, this is the medium your to-do list thrives on. Your calendar gives you structure and even helps you decipher how much to load up into a day. It's good practice not to commit to anything you haven't put into your calendar. For this to make sense, you have to have the last tip below on lockdown...<br><br><br><span class="font_large"><strong>6. Practice saying 'No'</strong></span><br>Go on, say it: "N-N- O-O". That wasn't too difficult now, was it? Simple but powerful, those two letters! I find most people find it hard to say 'no' simply because they're afraid of offending people. But don't you think they would be more offended if you probably fell through on your commitment or found you were not doing it whole-heartedly?</p>
<p>Then you'll not have not just your weak resolve but your integrity to deal with Most of the time, I don't think it's about <em>what </em>is said but <em>how </em>it is said.</p>
<p>Online entrepreneur, Ramit Sethi actually made up a nice short script you could use to politely say No, especially if you are corresponding via email:<br> </p>
<p id="yui_3_16_0_1_1449704140025_72850"><em>Hi NAME,</em></p>
<p><em>Thanks for this invitation. I’m flattered! Unfortunately, I’ve got my priorities set for the year and this just doesn’t fit in. Again, thanks for thinking of me.</em></p>
<p id="yiv9975613947yMail_cursorElementTracker_0.09883436583913863"><em>-YOUR NAME</em></p>
<p>Above all, If you've done all you could not to offend and still ended up doing so, simply because you said No, then tough! (for the other person of course!). Bottom line, time is one of the most precious gifts we've been given.</p>
<p>Spend it wisely and guard it jealously.<br><br><br><span class="font_large"><strong>Final words: Keep at it!</strong></span><br><br>I couldn't stress this enough! We are all works in progress and process and it takes time to change habits, no matter how short a time it takes a particular individual. So yes, you WILL drop the ball a few times- don't beat yourself up about it. Remember what I shared about process and excellence? Check it out <a contents="here" data-link-label="" data-link-type="url" href="http://toseofficial.com/blog/blog/3-pieces-of-advice-i-would-give-19-year-old-worship-leader-tose">here</a>. Learn, move on and keep at it. Walk and work towards the perfect YOU God made you to be. That's what grace is for. Use it!<br><br> </p>Tee Aritag:toseofficial.com,2005:Post/39444762015-12-03T23:23:22+00:002017-01-13T01:39:53+00:00The Worship Song List- 5 steps to effective song selection<img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/4fc9ece3077bf5ca3a5ea80ad6000cb125230e62/medium/the-worship-list.png?1449153997" class="size_m justify_center border_" /><br>Over the years, I have found myself answering countless questions as well as helping folks with their song selection for worship sessions. In time, I have come up with what I hope is a straight forward approach to mastering this little activity that could potentially be the make or break of a congregational worship session. I considered using the word "perfect" in the place of "effective". But you probably know there is no such thing as a perfect song list. Plus if you lead worship, you probably already know of those times the Holy Spirit seemingly messes up your 'perfect' song list.<br><br>I know there has been some negativity towards the worship song list, the general idea being that the Holy Spirit should be allowed free reign. Whilst I agree with this 100%, I don't see how the worship list works against it. The worship song list helps you prepare..."zone in", if you like. Besides, If you give Him free reign right from the song list preparation stage, there shouldn't be an issue, right? Great! Glad we are on the same page (I pray!) Before I get to down to business I'd like to state some matters of fact:<br><br>1. The fact that the song is current does not mean it would work in today's session, in today's list. I have been in gatherings where because the song is current, the worship team squeezes every ounce of life out of it. Oh c'mon guys, you can do better than that! That's not to say you can't sing it frequently especially if the song was recently introduced to the congregation and the idea is to get the church used to the song. However, there is a way to do frequent and not do overuse. <br><br>2. The fact that you personally like the song does not mean it should make it on the list. Now, don't get me wrong. You should be happy and comfortable with every song on your list in order to give your best. But the non-negotiable phrase in the preceding statement is 'Give your best' and if you have to work the songs to the point where you are comfortable then so be it. The fact is this: you are not priority on the song list. Your song list really should reflect the heart of the father at <strong>that point in time.</strong> So if you are not really "feeling" the songs, work it! But don't worry, God's got you covered. The Holy Spirit's help, brings the scripture "He works in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure" to life.<br><br>So unto the crux of the matter:<br><br>1. Liaise with the Helper himself- Okay, I'm sure this goes without saying that, if you intend to lead from the Father's heart you would at the very least liaise and work hand in hand with His Spirit. Why? Because your task as much as it is an art is very much a spiritual exercise. And whilst you can do without it, if you goal is to be as effective as you can be, then you would be wise to involve Him in your song selection. I've been leading worship for almost 17 years and till date, I still start my song list preparation with "OK Lord, how would you want me to lead your people?" (Sounds a little cheesy but understand my heart behind it). However you choose to do it, you save yourself a lot of unnecessary angst by just involving Him. So, you've got that out of the way...now what? Well, step out in faith and apply the steps below as He leads...<br><br>2. Find a theme- This kinda depends on how God works with you. With me, sometimes I get an actual theme...like 'God's love' or 'Encouragement'. Other times it is an actual song. Whichever way, hone in on a theme and structure your list around it. Trust me, this singular step will revolutionise your song list preparation.<br><br>3. Look for the "headlining song" - Now that you have found a theme, you need to find a headlining song. If you got your theme from a song, then that song usually ends up being the headlining song. If you only got the theme as a message, you would then have to find a headlining song that fits into that message. What is a headlining song and how does it help in preparing a song list?A headlining song is just something I use to describe the song that ends up being the focal point from which the other songs on your list build around. It is the pinnacle of your list. Usually this song is found in the middle or end of a song list. Why do you need this? Because an effective song list is one which takes the people on a journey, not a merry-go-round. Think of any good book you have read: It would most likely have a beginning, a middle and an end, to put it simply. It would also have a climax (headlining song). The most impacting worship sessions are like that and your song list should express this. Remember, when you lead people in worship you don't just lead them to sing a bunch of songs. You lead them to express love and devotion to God. It is an experience, not a chore. With headlining song in the bag, you are ready to start on the actual list. <br><br><br>4. Song thread. The journey- Now that you have a theme/headlining song, you need to find songs that you can build round the theme. So say, we are honing on the holiness of God. It is pretty obvious that your list would contain a song or two (including the headlining song) speaking on the holiness of God. But for the rest of your song list, it is best to focus on other facets of God that compliment the actual theme and find songs that fit into those facets. For example, when you think of God's holiness you imagine the awesomeness of His presence, His being etc. so find songs that speak of these. One of the easiest ways to find 'complimentary songs' is to say the words of the song instead of sing it. This is the starting point. Then, you would have to free style your words kinda like you were praying and expressing worship using just words not music. Here is an example:<br><br>Holy is the Lord God almighty. The earth is filled with His glory (Lyrics to Chris Tomlin's Holy is the Lord)<br>(Free style starts from here) What an awesome God He is, I stand amazed in the beauty of His Holiness. Who is like unto our God...<br><br>...and so on.<br><br>The challenge is to then find a song that fits nicely into my 'freestyle' words...with the words I just used above, songs that speak of the awesomeness of God (Like William Murphy's Lord 'Awesome' comes to mind. Do I hear you ask 'what if I can' t find any songs'? Well, make one up! It doesn't have to be perfect. Just trust God to give you utterance as remember you liaised with Him before venturing out. Mind you, several amazing songs have actually been written in a bid to fill such song voids. In my early years as a worship leader, I found I had to do this quite often as I didn't know a lot of songs at the time. If your time slot is say, 20 mins, you are probably looking at 3-4 songs in total including the headlining song, depending on the length of the actual song and transitions between songs. Mine tend to be pretty long so sometimes I end up leading only 2 songs. My advice is to always start off light and then increase intensity as you go down your list to either culminate in the headlining song or to prepare the ground for the headlining song, meaning you would likely end with something less intense than the headlining song. There is really no hard and fast rule to this. This is just what has worked for me over the years.<br><br>I should probably mention the importance of the music and keys to the songs and whether a key change would be necessary. First the music: Some songs are more suited as "start off"songs and this is not only because they are up tempo songs. Drawing from our examples above..the song 'Awesome" works better as a start song than "Holy is the Lord" so if I was doing both songs I would start with 'Awesome' and transition into 'Holy Is the Lord'. As for the keys, though this isn't always possible but I would advise trying to stick to the same key where you can. Keeps things simpler. And no, you don't have to sing the song on the key it originally was written in, though it is good place to start when considering what other keys that might work. Again, it is important to take the congregation on a musical journey, just as you are doing with the lyrics. Work with your fellow musicians to achieve this because there is nothing worse than having lead singer and musicians on different pages.<br><br>Transitioning between songs- For those who may not know what I am talking about here, I am referring to those spaces in-between your songs. Worship leaders tend to use these periods to encourage the congregation or introduce the next song...I know loads of people prefer to just "wing" this bit but I actually think in the spirit of all I have have shared about having theme and taking the congregation on a journey, it is wise to consciously prepare or have a very good idea of what you will say and do at these points so you are sure to stay in line with your theme.<br><br><br>Those are my 5 steps done, guys! Again, please know that the essence of this post is not to make your worship sessions so rigid and regimented that God Himself couldn't break through the ranks, even if He tried! Simply use as a guide if or when you get stuck.<br><br>Remember:<br><br><strong>Thoughts and tips?<br>Comment please!.</strong><br><br>Much love and blessings!<br><br>ToséTee Aritag:toseofficial.com,2005:Post/39339882015-11-26T00:50:23+00:002017-01-13T01:39:53+00:006 things I am massively grateful for...off the top of my head<img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/a3427b0f3b6960b7cc1210ac64db0e622df0651d/large/enter-his-gates-with-thanksgiving-go-into-his-courts-with-praise-give-thanks-to-him-and-praise-his-name.jpg?1448496807" class="size_l justify_center border_" /><br>So I know I'm not American and I don't live in the US but I truly admire the fact that they set aside a day and called it Thanksgiving. I think it's worth taking advantage of, even if it's just to have an excuse to think (and hopefully talk) about those things we are most grateful for in the year. As the title of this post connotes, I have deliberately decided not to plan what I am going to write ahead of time, just to see if I can actually think of 6 things I am grateful for..off the top of my head :). So here goes:<br><br>1. <strong>Hope</strong>: I know this is a bit of a weird one to start off with but it was the first thing that popped into my head. In the light of the recent attacks on Paris and Nigeria, it is easy for non-Christians to find ammunition for their claim that there is no God. And while as a Christian I cannot fully comprehend the "Why" or the "How", there's a light inside me that was switched on the day I got saved and I have come to recognise this to be hope. Hope that there is a bigger picture. Hope that regardless of what my eyes can see, God is good and His mercies endure forever. So I can press on in the face of life's uncertainties. We'd be lost without hope! Have you ever come across a person who seems to have lost hope? It's a scary thing, believe me!<br><br>2. <strong>God's Love</strong>- Those who know me closely know there's no character of God that resonates more with me than His love. When you've had to deal with insecurities and lack of validation like I have, the unconditional love of God is like a fountain to your thirsty heart. It is home. It is safety. I am forever grateful for the gift of His eternal love that could and would love an unloveable person like me. Constantly. Consistently.<br><br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/01ae81aa46334e4232d9f41042e49cbe19a142ca/small/family-bs-birthday.jpg?1448497012" class="size_s justify_right border_none" alt="" />3. <strong>Family</strong>- Obviously, this had to show up at some point! Yes, I am always grateful for the gift of family. Family aren't only those you share blood and name with. Family<br>are those folks who SEE you and are cool with it. They might not even get you but they love you and support you regardless. Some of you reading this are one of such to me so let me say it here: I am grateful for YOU!<br>I am equally grateful for the gift of a man like Ose. Words truly fail me when I think of this dude! If I honestly, ever doubted the existence of God, the fact that he brought this man alongside me to do life with should be sufficient to get rid of those assailing doubts. Ah! Plus, the bonus of three of the most adorable, smartest, coolest little people that call me "mummy". I am truly blessed amongst women. They are my testimony, my song! <br><br>4. <strong>Sense of purpose</strong>- Tele-evangelist, Writer and Speaker, Andrew Wommack says: " If you can live without knowing God's purpose for your life, you will!". If you are not in pursuit of purpose, you become one with wherever the wind blows. I am grateful I can see enough to enable me move in the right direction, in my pursuit. I tread sure-footed, knowing if I start veering off, God steers me towards the right course again.<br><br>5. <strong>Music</strong>: Again, those who know me well know music is probably my oldest, dearest friend. It has had the most profound effect on me from as far back as I remember. Memories of different phases of my life find a resting place in the songs I sang at the time...heck, it's how God finally reached little old stubborn me. Specifically as a worshipper and a person who leads others in worship I am so grateful for this beautiful gift of expression. Better still, knowing God digs it too, so much that He takes turns in singing over us, makes me even more grateful..if that's at all possible.<br><br>6. <strong>My Career</strong>: Even as I write this, my eyes well up. To think that I can actually call singing for the Lord a career deserves an article all by itself. Several even. I think I'll call it Chronicles of a reluctant Worship Leader. This year in particular has seen me literally step out of my comfort zone and dare to believe God and His word over me concerning this. Has it been easy? Gosh no! What's the fun in that?? I feel the stretching even as I write this...but stretching is good. Stretching means growth. And I havegrown in leaps and bounds. From reaching the grand final of the Open Mic Singing Competition- the only Christian Act performing on a mainstream platform- to finally completing my debut EP set for release in the second quarter of 2016...where do I even start sharing my gratitude for this? More details on this soon!<br><img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/95aaeb881dcee40a90145ae02d54a4943461d54e/medium/gl1-9775.jpg?1446946449" class="size_m justify_center border_none" alt="" /><br>As I write, so many other things I am grateful for are springing to my head- health, provision, a new house- a real "Count Your Blessings, Name Them One By One" kinda feeling. But I promised 6, I'll stop at 6 so you don't call me a liar! Now, It's your turn: I know it's a pretty overdone exercise but I'd very much like to know the top 3 things you are most grateful for in your life's journey this year. Just list them. Put your comments down below :). I'd love to hear from you<br><br>Much love and Blessings,<br><br>ToséTee Aritag:toseofficial.com,2005:Post/39254592015-11-17T22:11:26+00:002022-05-10T05:53:51+01:003 Pieces of advice I would give 19 year old worship Leader Tosé<img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/b7ff1d35beef18e0b921211f946d0f22142d4710/medium/tose-vista-card.jpg?1447798132" class="size_m justify_center border_none" alt="" /><br>I know what you are thinking so let me quickly put your mind at rest: This is not an "Oh, how I wish..." post, I promise! I am not one to dwell on what should have been. With time, I have come to recognise and acknowledge the BTS (Behind The Scenes) factor which I have termed simply to identify the bunch of stuff that happens that our naked eyes are not privy to, but thankfully God presides over. So, why this title? Well, I am a strong believer of not only learning from mistakes but <em>teaching </em>from your mistakes with the hope that someone will learn and subsequently avoid them. Against popular belief, experience isn't necessarily the best teacher. So that being said, here goes: <br><br>1. <strong>Opportunities don't fall on your lap. Go get them</strong>!: Well, Ok sometimes they do but that's more the exception than the rule. Sometimes, you literally have to go in search of them. Other times, they are there waiting along your path. But unless you are "tuned in", you'll miss them. You see, God brought opportunities my way to make and share the music he had given me to a much wider audience as far as back then. I didn't take up these opportunities and this was primarily because somewhere at the back of my mind, I expected to BOTH be approached and pursued. I felt I was that good at what I did. But who ever said talent was enough? You better be hard working and persistent or you'll carry your talent and that pride of yours with you to the grave.<br><br>2. <strong>Stop striving for 'perfection' in your tasks. Strive for excellence</strong>: Are you asking what the difference is? Well, so did I. To me, they were one and the same thing. But with time I have come to realise that the striving for perfection comes from a far more underlying problem - fear. And boy, did I have that in bucket loads! Someone once described perfection as fear in high heels. Ha! I totally agree.<br><br>Excellence on the other hand is having a vision- an image in your mind's eye- and not being afraid of the process it will take to get there. You are not afraid of making mistakes. Instead, you learn from them and persistently strive to be better. It sounds so simple but in my study of successful people, I have found this to be a common trait. Can I just be real with you? I'll be lying if I said that now well into my thirties, I have a complete grasp over this particular advice. I'm still very much a work in progress and I learn everyday.<br><br>3.<strong> Don't hide behind the music:</strong> My relationship with music was and still is a very passionate one. Before becoming a Christian that passion bordered on obsession. I had a lot of issues as a growing teen and the only way I found peace was to get lost in something. For me, that was music. Music also became the perfect mask. Why did I need to hide? I didn't like myself and didn't see how anyone would too. But music was something everyone loved so I said to myself "Do that skilfully enough and you'll be golden". So I thought. But authentic and honest worship thrives on allowing yourself be vulnerable first before God and then His people if you take on the privilege of leading them in worship. Your effectiveness as a worship leader almost solely depends on this. Music is not a covering or camouflage. It is a tool. Use it skilfully in leading God's people to express their love and devotion to Him. I'll share a bit more about this in a later post<br><br>So I ask you: what advise would you give your younger self today? Please comment below. I'd love to hear from you :)<br><br><strong>Share the love!</strong><br> <strong>If this post has been usefu</strong>l <strong>to you in any way don't forget to like and share</strong><br><br>Much love and blessings<br><br>ToséTee Aritag:toseofficial.com,2005:Post/39215142015-11-10T01:19:13+00:002017-01-13T01:39:53+00:00Praysong...<img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/6e3fadeba51d9395e284658af3d997c70fef90bf/medium/tose-178.jpg?1447118124" class="size_m justify_center border_none" alt="" /><br><br>I believe in me<br>Because I believe in You<br>I believe Your promises<br>I believe they are true<br>You won't let me fall<br>Or hurt my foot against a stone<br>I trust You<br>I believe in YouTee Aritag:toseofficial.com,2005:Post/39188832015-11-08T03:30:07+00:002017-01-13T01:39:53+00:00And so the journey begins...<img src="//d10j3mvrs1suex.cloudfront.net/u/176690/14f537c22995913be64f6ec02a21659122a5ea64/large/tose-63.jpg?1446953584" class="size_l justify_center border_none" alt="" />Well, started 17 years ago, really. It's been a long bumpy road with interesting twists and turns. Took me a while but I'm finally here! (Yep, line borrowed from the "Fighting Temptations" song..very apt right now). I have laughed. I have cried. I have been crippled with fear (literally) and learned to "Do it afraid" like Mama Joyce (Meyer) would say. If we've never met or connected in anyway before now, I want to say a special welcome on board Ship <em>Tosé </em>and thank you for supporting what I do. The journey is far from over and I'm glad you are a part of it. Click <a contents="here" data-link-label="HOME" data-link-type="page" href="/home">here</a> to join!<br><br>Much love and blessings!<br><br>Tosé xxTee Ari